Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019

So what happened in 2018? In short: a lot. My goals for the year were as follows:

1. Put out two new albums of electronic/ambient instrumental music. Sanur was released in January, Harys released in July.
2. I released the book about my band The Stepford Five titled Are You Making A Sound? in March. It was a fun project and invigorating, more on that.
3. While I didn't publish a follow-up to Small Stories, I started the processing of fleshing out more stories. That probably won't be out next year, maybe 2020 or 2021. I interviewed my great uncle Mike about his experiences in World War II, transcribed his journal and have started the research process. Maybe 2019, maybe 2020, not sure on that yet. I did not move forward at all on my mother's journals, but I have them for a future year. Things got busy, more on that later.
4. The Black Sky moved forward in a big way, but then took a step back. Here's the gist, as I don't want to go into too much detail: in January, one of my query letters landed me representation with an agent at a large NYC literary agency. This was a dream come true, I was on the proverbial cloud nine for days. We talked on the phone, went over the particulars, the time frames, the (realistic) expectations and such. Immediately the manuscript started going out to publishers and then... well, kinda nothing for months. That's how it goes, waiting to find the right home. I outlined the sequel, and waiting to hear something. Every couple of months, I'd check in and get a short but courteous "we're in the process, it takes time, be patient" response. By the end of the year, after I had a call with my agent and later learned about some issues at his agency, we ended up parting. To be fair, he sent out the manuscript to the folks I would ecstatic to get to read it, and provided me the feedback he received, but it was clear he wasn't going to be reach out to smaller publishers, so at this point I've taken The Black Sky back under my wing and am looking for another option in 2019. I'm also considering a revised title.
5. Dig Me Out continues to grow, and 2018 was another stellar year with fun interviews, excellent roundtables and great episodes with our listeners. We have even more planned for 2019.
6. Let's start at the end on this one. By the end of the year, I came to the conclusion that my job had become a detriment to my health, my family and my creative pursuits, and I tendered my resignation. It was met with shock and, to the credit of the people I work for, an offer to amend my workload and hours to something more accomodating. Like a lot of people, I was unable to detach myself from my work for even any time off, and with the growth of our newly created division, could see how damaging this would become if the trend continued in 2019. In January, I'll be moving into a part-time role with more limited scope, and be able to reclaim some of the hours that had been whittled away over the past year.

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

So what happened in 2017?

1. I finally completed the first draft of my novel The Black Sky. It was a long process converting a frustratedly unfinished screenplay into a semi-readable book, and then having friends and family give lots of constructive feedback that has helped shape it into a much more digestible and entertaining read. More on that in a bit.
2. Small Stories was self-published in May. Being a collection of short, personal stories I had written for this website, it was fairly easy to put together, but then I had the added bonus of working with DX Ferris and my mom (who is a damn fine artist, incase you didn’t know) to add illustrations. It turned out great – a small (no pun intended) project that I hope to expand upon in future years.
3. After writing a bunch of short instrumental tunes to accompany The Black Sky, I recorded and released my first solo album, Molokai, in September on Reverbose Records, the old label that my friends and I had in the mid-’00s.
4. Continued making a fun, entertaining and informative Dig Me Out Podcast with my co-host and longtime friend Jason Dziak. Over the years we cultivated a small but strong and loyal listenership, as well as discovered a great group of folks who indulge us by stopping by to chat. Insane that we’ve just wrapped season seven and it feels like we’re just hitting our stride.
5. My now 5-year old daughter discovered her first real interest (ballet) and performed in her first recital. I had a proud father smile for weeks after.
6. My wife continues to be the best thing that ever happened to me. We kept our one-date-a-month plan that busy adults have to do. Hope to expand on that in the coming year.
7. Thanks to an assist from occasional Blue Apron deliveries, I’ve become a better cook and learned how to make vegetables that I actually enjoy eating. Now about that extra twenty pounds I’ve always got laying around…
8. I started playing live music again, joining 90s Pearl Jam tribute band RVM on bass (and reconnecting with my former The Stepford Five bandmate Keith Jenkins). I’ve played one show with them so far, and it was a blast. Looking forward to more, as their a great group of guys who allow me to properly nerd out on Pearl Jam.
9. On a very personal note, in the spring I had what some would call a “panic attack.” I wasn’t really sure what happened, but seeing a counselor after and since has helped me realize I’ve probably been dealing with some severe anxiety issues my entire life that I could never properly identify or verbalize. In retrospect, this has probably damaged some of my relationships and personal experiences, and I’m working on that going forward. It wasn’t easy to come to grips with the idea that I wasn’t completely mentally well, because mental health management has a stigma, and there are certainly people suffering with more difficult and debilitating issues than my circumstance, but I’m working on it, and will continue to do so.

All that said, here’s what’s going on in 2018:

1. I will have two new albums of ambient/electronic/experimental instrumental music out this year. The first, Sanur, will be released in January, the second sometime during the summer. These will both be out on Reverbose, and my ambition is to release music by artists other than myself. I’ve already reached out to folks whose music I admire and enjoy and hope to work with them on releasing new music in this and coming years. I want to be a part of putting more art and creativity into the world after sitting on the sidelines for almost a decade after the initial demise of Reverbose and my band.
2. I spent a good deal of 2017 researching, digging through personal and band archives, and compiling a history of the music I helped make with The Stepford Five. A personal passion project, I needed to put the final bow on the decade I spent making music with Jason, Keith and Mark, so in March, on the 20th anniversary of our first show, I will be publishing Are You Making A Sound? The History of The Stepford Five. It compiles our website news, gig, and studio diaries with hundreds of photos and observations not just about the band, but about the music scene we were apart of and the evolution of the internet as it relates to our time in the band. More news on that after the new year.
3. In addition to a follow-up to Small Stories, currently creatively titled Even More Small Stories, I have two non-fiction books I hope to begin working on for release either in 2018 or 2019. The first is a collection of journal entries my mother kept during the onset of my grandfather’s dementia, along with art she made at the time using found objects and images in his house. It will be an emotionally challenging project, but an important one. The second is sitting down with my 94-year old great uncle Mike who was crew member of a World War II bomber that flew 30+ missions over Germany. What is remarkable is that he kept a journal of every bombing run they made, I believe his story is worth sharing with the world.
4. The Black Sky will move forward one way or another. Both as a member of an indie band, and as an aspiring screenwriter, I know getting the attention of an agent/publishers has long odds, but based on the feedback I received this year, I’m willing to give it a go. If not, I’ll self-publish. Either way, it’s coming out some time in 2018.
5. Dig Me Out will be entering into new territory as our Patreon patrons scooped up pretty much every available album review spot available. It’s a good problem to have, because for the first time since we started this thing seven years ago, we’re financially in the black going into 2018.
6. More time with family, more time with friends. Better, healthier food. Less pounds. Now that I’ve recognized my issue with anxiety, it’s time to face it and aspire to be happier. Part of that means living in and for the moment (not, like, yolo) by not being distracted by electronics and superfluous stuff. That also means making more art, both on my own and with others, as well as supporting the art and creativity of others.

So that’s it, I’m sure I forgot stuff. 2017 was a revelation of sorts. 2018 continues the new direction. Never know what’s going to happen, might as well find out.

I'm A Guest! Hear Me Talk 90s Albums on The Andy Derer Show

Last year, Andy Derer of The Andy Derer Show podcast stopped by the Dig Me Out Podcast to chat about the album Copper Blue by Sugar. Recently, Andy had me on his podcast to talk about five 1990s album you may not have heard, but need to.

UPDATE: Andy is off Podbean, but has moved all of his episodes to Archive.org. Here's a direct link to the episode.